The Naming of Cats

The naming of cats is a difficult matter, it isn't just one of your holiday games. You may think at first I'm mad as a hatter when I tell you, a 
cat must have THREE DIFFERENT NAMES. 

First of all, there's the name that the family uses daily, such as Peter, Augustus, Alonzo or James. Such as Victor, or Jonathon, George or Bill Bailey --  All of them sensible everyday names. There are fancier names if you think they sound sweeter. Some for the gentlemen, some for the dames: Such as Plato, Admetus, Electra, Demeter --

But all of them sensible everyday names. But I tell you, a cat need a name that's particular, a name that's peculiar, and more dignified, else how can he keep up his tail perpendicular or spread out his whiskers, or cherish his pride.

Of names of this kind, I can give a quorum, such as Munkustrap, Quaxo, or Coricopat. Such as Bombalurina, or else Jellyorum -- Names that never belong to more than one cat. But above and beyond there's still one name left over, and that is the name that no human research can discover --
But THE CAT HIMSELF KNOWS, and will never confess. When you notice a cat in profound meditation, the reason, I tell you, is always the same: Of the thought, of the thought, of the thought of his name: His ineffable effable effanineffable deep and inscrutable singular NAME. 

T. S. ELIOT